Gloucestershire Weapons Inspectors go to USAF Fairford – 26 Jan 2003

1 pm(ish) – Main gate: Three smartly suited inspectors face the huge crowd.  Technicians (in white decontamination suits) check equipment ready for action in a group a little way off.

Inspector         We’ve come here again to ask you to admit the Gloucestershire Weapons Inspectors.
                        (points over to assembled technicians and beckons them over)

Technicians    (shout) That’s us… that’s us…
                        (march over to join the inspectors waving equipment and looking excited)
                        We are the Gloucestershire Weapons Inspectors.
                        (others in the crowd wave equipment and join in)

Inspector         We said we’d come back again – so here we are – we’re back with even more inspectors.
Technicians    (shout) We’re back

Inspector         Iraq has weapons of mass destruction, so we’re told, and that is a bad thing.
Technicians    (chorus) weapons of mass destruction - that is a bad thing (including crowd)

Inspector         The United States has far more weapons of mass destruction and we think that is a bad thing.
Technicians    (chorus) that is a bad thing (including crowd)

Inspector         Iraq has allowed weapons inspectors back in and we think this is a good thing.
Technicians    (chorus) this is a good thing (including crowd)

Inspector         Fairford is the biggest US bomber base in Europe.
Technicians    (disbelieving - improvised) The biggest in Europe? Surely not?
                                                                       What right here in the Cotswolds? Never?

Inspector         (loudly to technicians) It is the biggest bomber base in Europe!
Technicians    (chorus) Biggest bomber base in Europe?

Inspector         So we’re here to inspect Fairford for weapons of mass destruction.
Technicians    Weapons of mass destruction, at Fairford!

 Inspector            NOW LET US IN
Technicians    (chorus) NOW LET US IN (crowd chants LET US IN)

INSPECTORS AND ASSEMBLED TECHNICIANS APPROACH THE GATE TO ASK FOR ADMISSION

THE GATE GUARDS HAVE A COUPLE OF MINUTES TO RESPOND – WE EXPECT NO RESPONSE

Inspector 1      It appears that once again the United States does not allow weapons inspectors.
Technicians    (shocked & disappointed)
                         Doesn’t allow weapons inspectors?
                         Doesn’t have weapons of mass destruction?

         The large model B-2 bomber flies across in front of GWI group

All together            THEN WHAT’S THAT? (point, can chase after the bomber waving equipment)

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